A million little things are going to make your wedding day perfect!
Of course, it helps if you think of them ahead of time.
Each part of the wedding day has been handcrafted with care by you and planner, and likely your bridesmaids and mom as well! But what’s the saying, “hindsight is 20/20?”
When you look back on something, that’s when you can most clearly see what things you should have done to problem-solve in advance and make your wedding as memorable as possible.
This is a combined collection of tips and knowledge from the Fern & Fountain Team, other vendors we trust, as well as our past brides! These are the things brides either forgot, didn’t know, or wish they would have done differently if they could go back in time. We’ve broken it down into each main part of the wedding day so you can easily revisit specific parts of the wedding day!
BREAKING IT DOWN
- Make a list of the TEN most important moments of the day. Family photos? First dance? Getting-ready-with-your-girls? The ceremony?
- Timeline design is a massive waste of your time if you let yourself overthink it. Why? Because you’ll end up re-doing the schedule 40 times if you’re not careful. The people around you are not going to follow a schedule as closely as you think- and it’s better that way because you need breathing room to have fun and enjoy your day!
- The more scheduled the wedding day is, the more overwhelming it is to the people around you and yourself, and your spouse-to-be.
- Less. Is. More. If you over-schedule, things are going to get missed.
- I always recommend that a couple invest in a day-of-coordinator. Then give them the TEN most important moments of the day and let them help you schedule them.
- A day-of coordinator plans weddings all the time and they will be able to plan your wedding day much more smoothly and thoroughly than you will because they are a professional planner who designs dozens of weddings each year.
- You should also consider a personal attendant to keep track of people, items, what time it is, and what the next deadline is.
GIRLS GETTING READY
Getting ready: surrounded only by the best of the best the most VIP of VIPS, your safe people. This is often the most tearful part of the day!
Get ready with as much natural light around you as possible! Big windows and plenty of them!
Make sure you keep one corner (the corner with the brightest window) clean and tidy.
Collect all the bridesmaids gifts, robes, dresses, shoes, flowers, and anything your girls will need that day, and put them in this room so it’s a one-stop spot.
Get the girls matching duffel bags so it’s easy to clear the room when you need to and each girl can have a sweet keepsake and also a home base for a busy day.
TIPS
Don’t break things down into tiny timeframes like “9:02 am, hug with dad. 9:04am, put on shoes.” It puts unfair pressure on everyone around you. I have seen this fill the room with underlying stress and a constant fumbling of schedule-checking many times. Allow the day to breathe!
MOST FORGOTTEN ITEMS
Those sweet shots of your special items don’t happen by accident! Gather them together before the wedding day and put them all in a box- not jut the bride’s! The groom’s too!
Physical items are an important part of your day. Collect a number of the special items you bought or borrowed intentionally for your wedding day and have them sitting in the girl’s bridal suite waiting for the photographer- it’s hard to lose them at that point!
Suggestions of what to collect:
- The bride’s dress! Her shoes, perfume, earrings, wedding and engagement ring, ring box, handkerchief, or any other sentimentally valuable items.
- The groom’s jacket, shoes, tie, button-up shirt, socks, cufflinks, boutonniere. tie clasp, cologne, or any other unique items.
- A spare invitation, your wedding license, loose blooms from your florist, a wedding favor.
TIPS
Get your jewelry cleaned before the wedding day so it really sparkles!
Be sure the groom waits for the photographer to photograph his accessories and that the photographer is with him when he gets ready. If you get ready separately from the groom like most couples, you’ll want to look back and “watch” each other get ready through the eyes of your photographer.
MOST RUSHED MOMENTS
These are the moments that tend to be the most rushed, but they are often the most important moments. Plan ahead to schedule extra time for these moments.
1 Getting Ready! Let this take time, let it be sacred. Don’t over-schedule it or break everything down into two minute increments to try and keep things from running late. Let there be freedom for hugs, tears, and slowness.
2 The First Look. This may be your only time truly alone with your brand new spouse. Let it be slow, and build in time for you to connect and savor the moment together, as you’ll be apart or surrounded by other people the rest of the day.
3 Walking down from the aisle. Most couples are excited, so they rush down the aisle after being pronounced man and wife. Walk slowly, stop and kiss, smile at each other, smile for the camera, soak it up.
4 The decor! So many times, it’s easy to forget that the decor, and the details you’ve intentionally set aside for wedding day ambiance, take time to be photographed! I will often spend 2 hours photographing details and decorations on a wedding day. It’s part of the story of the day and it’s so important that it’s not rushed!
5 The kiss. Don’t rush it! Kiss slowly and try to pause the moment. This helps the cameras get the kiss in a flattering way. If you do a tiny peck, it may be missed.
6 The send-off. It’s a thrilling moment, but be sure you take it slow- make eye contact with loved ones, hug and kiss your spouse. Stand still and savor it. Let everyone cheer. Perhaps you can do a spin!
GUYS GETTING READY
Guys, wait to put on those button ups, jackets, and ties until the photographer arrives. Otherwise you’ll be stuck taking pretend pictures of getting ready and that’s a lot less fun.
I suggest keeping the men’s shirts, jackets, ties, etc. in a different room and delivering them after the photographer arrives. Put board games and drinks in the men’s suite so they have something to do while they wait.
Also, tidy up! Nothing is worse than a pair of boxers on a chair in the background of an emotional picture. Pick the corner of the room next to the brightest window and clean that whole area up. That clean space is where most photos will be taken. Have a designated “dump zone” elsewhere in the room.
Set the groomsmen up with gifts that they’d be interested in! Maybe cigars, or a custom deck of cards.
TIPS
Turn off any yellow lights in the room. Yellow or tungsten lights clash with natural light and make everyone’s skin look worse. Especially if you have a spray tan!
THE CEREMONY
A lot of wedding ceremonies are in the afternoon. It’s practical timing. But the lighting can be very harsh at that time of day. If you’re in a wide open outdoor space getting married in the afternoon you need to consider what the sun will be doing at the time of the ceremony.
The audience doesn’t prefer the sun in their eyes, and neither does the wedding party. Somebody is likely to be facing the sun so consider who will be squinting during the ceremony, because they will be squinting in the photographs as well. Try to place VIPs in places where they won’t be squinting.
Above all, you don’t want the shadow of the groom to fall across the bride’s face – or vice-versa – during the ceremony. (Including the kiss!) This intense lighting situation likely will not be able to be edited out. So avoid having the sun coming from directly behind the groom or directly behind the bride. Even with professional lighting gear, I cannot overpower the sun for an even, flattering photo of both bride and groom if you choose to position yourselves this way.
TIPS
Consider being under a tent or in a shaded area to eliminate the potential for squinting or harsh shadows if you’re set on an outdoor ceremony.
FAMILY PHOTOS
There is always at least one family member who goes missing during the family photos. Then suddenly, we’re on a manhunt, the clock is ticking, the guests are waiting for you, and uncle Gary is at the bar while the whole family waits for twenty minutes for him to be found. How do you stop this?
If you choose not to do a first look and decide to do the family photos after the ceremony, schedule the family photos to be immediately after the ceremony.
Make a list of every single family member who you want in the family photos, and the week before the wedding tell them each individually that they are in the family photos. Tell them to follow you out of the ceremony and go straight to the family photo location.
Make sure you mention that the bar will not open until after family photos and have the officiant will direct them after the ceremony.
TIPS
Right after you are pronounced man and wife, have the officiant announce that “if you were told you’re in the family photos, go to X location now.”
MR AND MRS PORTRAITS
Not only is this important private time for you both, but this is a fantastic way to capture all those wedding-day thrills! This is day one of your legacy!
I recommend breaking off from the wedding guests and party twice on the wedding day for portraits. It’s important to get that special alone time with each other.
If you do a first look, that’s portrait time #1. Then later in the day in the evening light that can be portrait time #2. I recommend going to two different locations.
Going off alone as a couple (with or without the photographer) to take pause and soak it all up will be one of your favorite parts of your wedding day. The more tucked out of sight you can be, the better. It minimizes distractions and helps you connect during the day.
Not only is this important private time for you both, but this is a fantastic way to capture all those wedding-day thrills! This is day one of your legacy!
I recommend breaking off from the wedding guests and party twice on the wedding day for portraits. It’s important to get that special alone time with each other.
If you do a first look, that’s portrait time #1. Then later in the day in the evening light that can be portrait time #2. I recommend going to two different locations.
Going off alone as a couple (with or without the photographer) to take pause and soak it all up will be one of your favorite parts of your wedding day. The more tucked out of sight you can be, the better. It minimizes distractions and helps you connect during the day.
TIPS
Think about if you need a pair of more comfortable shoes for the portrait locations.
THE SENDOFF
his, the Grand Finale, is just as much for your guests as it is for you. They want to be part of a collective grand finale and celebrate you leaving your wedding, because when you leave, the wedding is over and the marriage begins!
Plan the send-off time before it gets too dark or too late! Check what time sunset is and plan your send-off before it’s pitch black outside, even if it’s a sparkler send-off. Don’t schedule dancing for more than two hours. People will start leaving when they get tired and you won’t have enough people to make the send-off truly feel celebratory.
It’s useful to have two photographers for this so that one can concentrate on the bride and groom, and one can concentrate on the guests.
Finally, don’t run! Walk through the send-off. Make eye contact with guests. Stop and kiss-do a dip or a spin if you can. Stop and hug people. Savor the moment. It makes for better memories as well as better photos.
TIPS
A good task for a DJ or a day-of coordinator is to make sure the guests know that the sendoff will be happening, and at what time, so they’re not wondering.
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